2.0 is here, but

I thought their advertising was done in jest, just to show off their product, maybe pull in a few new customers in a fun way. But, noooo. No matter how careful you are, no matter how slowly you tip back this glorious white bottle, it will uncontrollably pour out onto your beard! There seems to be no way to stop 2.0 from plundering a path to your face follicles. Pour it onto a glass? Nope. Sip it through a straw? Nope. It seems they’ve created some new force that seeks out your face!

Dang you and your check beard @JulioMiles! Is this how you got it to grow so well? By feeding it Soylent?


Doh, seriously? Maybe the lid opening is too wide? Mine should be arriving today. Should be an interesting few days on the forum coming up. :smile:

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So, they were utilizing truth in advertising for this picture then?


I agree, I just drank some and had no spillage problems at all. :smile:


Maybe they should include a free straw with each bottle?



This thread and the post from trad, made me wonder. How about making the opening of the bottles a bit narrower than current? Will doing this increase the likelihood of people not ‘chugging’ it down and instead consume it more slowly?

Nothing wrong with the bottles, they’re quite nice actually. Plus, if someone wants to chug their meal why should we try to stop them? I say drink it at the speed with which you’re comfortable.

It’s just the powerful force of what’s inside to seek out beards that’s troublesome. Really if you have a beard you’re taking a terrible chance by just unscrewing the lid, but even if it doesn’t attack immediately, once you bring it to your lips it just gushes forth with such force… I mean, just look at that picture and you’ll begin to understand. Perhaps they should add a warning label to shave clean before every meal…


But, Soylent is made from… stuff! Aaaaggghhhh!

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Chugging it down might not exactly be healthy, it could lead to higher glucose spikes than drinking it slowly.

And that powerful force can be contained by a smaller opening. As for the warning label to shave clean, whats to say soylent wont attack a clean shaven face too? hmm? The after shave lotion might pull the soylent towards it even more than a beard would :open_mouth:

I don’t believe even a smaller opening would contain it, but would rather increase the pressure as it comes fourth with the same vigor though a smaller orifice; possibly causing injury by foraging a path through the mustache and forging up the nostrils, rather than just the stained shirts and embarrassment we’ve seen to date.

As a bearded fellow I can’t speak to the possibility of a voracious appetite of Soylent toward the clean shaven, other than to say no evidence has been offered to suggest Soylent goes after anyone but those frolicking with follicles; at this point the evidence we have seen shows that Soylent does go after at least some of those with beards. I am hopeful for everyone else that they will be safe when clean shaven, and must for the future of this fine product believe that this outpouring of Soylent will only effect those of us who flaunt fuzzy faces.

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Yeah it comes out with so great pressure if the orifice is smaller that it will destroy the beard, nostrils, goes into the cranium structurally damages the brain and comes out from the back of the head and goes after the fellow behind the one drinking it.

There is a lot of evidence for this right?



Your system is going to absorb the maximum dose of glucose from Soylent whether you have all 400 calories in 3 seconds or stretched out over 20 minutes. If you stretch it out longer than an hour for that 400 calories, then your Soylent will be warm, but you’ll affect the digestion rate and level out the glucose intake as the carbs are broken down.

Complex carbs don’t get instantly infused into the bloodstream as glucose, avoiding spikes - one of the nice things about Soylent.

Also, this sounds like an epic challenge to Chuck Norris beard - can it stand up to Soylent 2.0’s unstoppable flow?

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Early testing was disasterous…


I believe the anti-facial hair biased nature of Soylent is quite evident at this point.

Here we can see Soylent safely being consumed by someone who apparently Soylent approves of…

I think it’s time someone asked Rob the hard questions. Like is he trying to kill due to beard envy, or has his creation become self aware during an awkward moment with one of their more hairy engineers?


Although the bearded guy got double blinded by it, its not a double blind placebo controlled study. So…

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Now about the picture of the clean shaven guy, see what i said? After shave could have powerful affinity with soylent :open_mouth:

But no rob is not trying to kill, he is a nice guy. From what i have noticed, he is the kind of guy who gives importance to valid health concerns not just profits. Same reason i try to bring concerns if any, to his and RL’s notice. Otherwise i wouldnt have spent any time at all here.


The links you provided dont say anything like that

I was not comparing iso with glucose or sugars. I was comparing drinking iso slowly versus chugging iso itself down. Drinking something quickly could lead to a faster/higher insulin response compratively than drinking it slowly.

Sorry I wasn’t clearer and more informative.


Your stomach isn’t absorbing glucose, it’s holding the food and processing it for the small intestine. Drinking slowly or quickly isn’t going to make a difference - your small intestine is going to get the chemically dissolved mass of nutrients in bulk, they don’t trickle in at the rate of ingestion. The iso is partially digested by the time it hits your small intestine, and then over the course of 6-8 hours it passes into your large intestine.

The stomach doesn’t trickle food out at the rate that you take it in - it takes in whatever you eat and over the course of a couple hours mixes and churns it with digestive juices, the shunts the bulk of your meal out into the intestines to take their journey into the municipal waste system.

There may be a psychological benefit to eating more slowly, in that you will feel more satiated, and there may be an impact on insulin production in response to ingesting food slowly rather than slamming it. But… if your insulin production is normal, then while the Soylent makes its transit through your guts, it shouldn’t matter physically whether you chug or sip.