So this is going to be a bit lengthy but I’ll try to keep it simple. Today I’m 20 years old and for almost 7 years I’ve been on a gradual decline into severe depression. The past year I have considered my life little more than noise - a budren on my family, financially and emotionally. I’ve lied to everyone that’s tried to help me, I’ve sold most of my stuff (admittedly junk anyways) due to drug habits and I’ve dropped out of college for the third time now. I eat a few times a week if I’m lucky enough to have such an appetite but it isn’t unusual for me to skip several days of meals and just coast on water.
Sample size is everything but I like to think my experience is worth more than simple anecdote. I don’t want to sound like a late night infomercial but here it goes.
I recieved my one week supply of (1.3) soylent and after 2 days I felt my mood stabilize completely. I had consistent energy rather than bursts and I found myself no longer craving coffee. I drank one night on New Years Eve, but aside from that I felt no willingness to use any kind of drugs. Most importantly, I felt like my life had potential for the first time in… probably ever. For the breifest moment, I didn’t feel like a useless prick. I felt like I could learn something, help someone, do something worthy of being here. I was never hungry but constantly aware of my energy levels. My sense of smell and hearing improved and after ordering out one night, the food overwhelmed my tastebuds. I actually had to stop eating for a second to handle the experience. after the 5th day, I found myself wanting to work out - but mostly just run. I was considering trying to put on 20 or 30 pounds just to not look like death all the time.
I all but tanked. I slept for 2 days and ate nothing. I drank a few glasses of water just to get my heart to stop pounding. While awake I felt like I could dive headfirst off my roof and not think twice about it, and this wasn’t just a fleeting thought. All in all, I think I’d like to keep using soylent. The non-specific taste keeps me from getting sick of it and the smell is strangely appealing. It will be several weeks before I have the money to place another order, but next time I do I’ll be more in-depth about how I log the experience and will schedule blood panels and appointments with my previous psychologist for assessments. I’ll be going with the 30 day order this time around; hopefully this will provide a more complete picture of my experience.