Eating With Significant Other and Social Situations


#1

Alright, so I’m on an all Soylent lifestyle and that’s how I plan to keep it in the longterm. (I also have a lot of digestive issues and soylent really helps with that). Anyways, my significant other gets sad when I don’t eat traditional meals with him. He says it “doesn’t feel right” seeing me sip my shake while he eats a plate of cheesy pasta. It makes me feel bad that he doesn’t feel the intimacy of meals anymore. I have tried to have lunch meetings with friends and they have acted similarly. It’s started to get depressing honestly… and I feel alienated… Has anyone else felt left out due to being on soylent or being socially rejected? Any advice on how to combat these feelings? Thank you for reading!


#2

That’s a tough one. When I eat Soylent for lunch at work, I’ll just have it at my desk, so I only get lunch with coworkers once or twice a week. I only have it for dinner when I’m not going to be eating with my family anyway.

If you want to have it for most/all meals, then it is really tough. A solid soylent (like the bar but meal-sized) would be nice, it would be easier to eat with people.


#3

I know the feeling. I was at a volunteer clean up event where they had a big BBQ for 100 people. I did feel awkward, but it was a mostly just me thinking that people must think I’m odd.

I did partake in the conversation though, asking how the food was, telling people to go get a second plate “go get an extra plate, you can have mine.” When I was drinking soylent daily, I would consume it for breakfast and lunch and eat a “analog” dinner as long as I didn’t go over 1700 calories while I was restricting calories. So, I did have the sit down dinner face time with my wife/family.

Your friends and family shouldn’t feel sad for you, and you should tell them so. You are getting 20% of your nutrition in a bottle for a couple of bucks, you don’t have to spend the effort or money trying to find a complete meal - you should feel bad for them. :wink:

You can’t let yourself feel alienated or be alienated. Join in conversation, don’t be afraid to ask and be enthusiastic about what someone is eating. You can’t let the little things bug you, put your efforts into the things you can control and let go of the things you can’t.

Keep your chin up, don’t sweat the small things - if people want to alienate you for your diet … maybe it’s time to find a new group of people to eat with.


#4

thank you for the reply and understanding, yeah it’s apparently really uncomfortable… Which I don’t get the big deal… But at the same time, I can see how it’s hard to have an initiate date while I’m not “enjoying” the experience of food… I heard that soylent did have a bar, but it was recalled… I hope that they come out with a bar again soon :slight_smile:


#5

Thank you for this, the support is super helpful <3


#6

I can definitely sympathize with this. I don’t know what I would do if I was on 100% Soylent. I’m at about 50%, and so I go out of my way to make sure that I rearrange all of my meals depending on whether I’ll be with other people or not.


#7

I visit my dad at his assisted living facility for a couple of weeks twice a year. The highlights of his day seemed to be breakfast, lunch and dinner, and I found myself having gained weight after every visit. I started having a bottle of Soylent 2.0 for breakfast and another for lunch. Even though I ate a normal dinner with him, my dad was unhappy! At first, he was like, “Why do you even come visit me?” Then he would order lots of food so he could say, “Gosh, I can’t finish this. Why don’t you eat it?” Eventually, he got used to it and even bragged to the other seniors in the dining room how much money I was saving him. For my part, I made sure I also had a large glass of water to drink with the Soylent, both so it would last longer and because it helps me digest the Soylent. I actually found myself talking a lot more, carrying the conversation because I wasn’t concentrating so much on my food. Many a time my dad finished his meal before I finished the Soylent! Best of all, I left at the same weight as when I came.


#8

Thank you for this encouraging response! I hope that eventually my S/O will get used to me drinking the soylent at meals and may even be happy about the financial savings as well heh! Great story! Hopefully it will work out well for the both of us in the long run <3 happy soylent adventures <3


#9

This probably won’t help, but you can explain as like cat/dog food, except made for humans😸


#10

Giving this some more thought, this is actually not a Soylent problem. It’s a problem for anyone not inside of “the norm” when it comes to eating.

Personally, I’m a quick eater, but I’m also a healthy eater (or I try to be). Combining those two things, my plate is often empty relatively quickly even when I take my time. This seems to lead people to the conclusion that I must be on some sort of drastic diet to lose weight (I’m male, 159 lbs, and 15% BF) and they seem to miss the point entirely. This month I’m doing a mini-cut at 2400 calories a day, but normally I do 2700. So even though I still eat with people, and I still eat plenty, because I don’t fit within the norm it makes things awkward sometimes. At work, I drink my Soylent and some people even wonder if I ever eat real food.

Regardless of what you do, there will probably be awkward situations when you go against the norm. As far as I’m concerned, “the norm” for eating (where I live - America) is not very healthy at all, so going against it is entirely justified and worth the awkward situations. Just because you are consuming something different doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy a meal together with a significant other, friends, or family - how often do people go out to eat and order the exact same thing anyway? The food that is being consumed during meals isn’t important when viewed through the lense of a social activity, it’s the time spent together. So while it may be awkward at first, the people that you do this often with will gradually grow accustomed to the idea. Just explain things ahead of time, and people are generally willing to (at minimum) tolerate the idea and let it happen.


#11

It is literally human fuel hehe, but what they don’t like is that I am doing something different… That I am not doing the whole sit down big meal thing I guess… I also finish my meals quicker as well which can make things awkward from their point of view. Have you had frozen soylent? Maybe if i try to make a soylent (icecream) I can make the meals last longer?


#12

Thanks for the support on this! Yeah, I hope that my family becomes more accepting of this! You’re right! What’s important is the time spent together during these meals! Why can’t we bond around times besides meal altogether? My family has this thing where meals are EXTREMELY important and spending other time together takes less priority, I personally don’t get it :stuck_out_tongue: It is good to push against the burger and fries normal of USA… My S/O eats fast food everyday and I often worry… I told him he should take a couple soylent meals to work instead of going out to eat and he replied that he would rather eat real food than that white goop XD To each their own I guess…
Once again, thank you for the insight and help in this situation. I really needed the boost and encouragement.


#13

I’m not sure why people have these feelings about food. If you’re eating and I’m drinking what difference does it make. We’re still enjoying each other’s company and consuming something. The act of physically moving food from a plate or bowl to your mouth and chewing doesn’t bond people. It’s the conversation and wine :wink: But I’ve been 90-100% for 3 years and all the people in my life don’t notice or care.

When it comes to work, I have lunch with my coworkers all the time. They eat their food, I drink my drink. It’s not weird or awkward. We’re usually just chatting anyway. You do have to get through the first couple of lunches with everyone asking you the standard Soylent questions. What you’re drinking? Why? Do you feel full?, What does it taste like? etc. You know the questions. Once you’re through that it’s no different from eating a sandwich with your work friends.


#14

I asked my partner about this and he said that the intimacy of sharing a “real meal” is important… whatever that means lol My friends have gotten more used to it and people at work don’t care. (I usually sit at my desk while everyone else goes out.) thanks for the reply!


#15

Hey Angel,

I’m on a Soylent lifestyle as well but not 100%. Meaning if I’m at home Mon-Fri, I won’t be cooking or eating out except for the weekends. Therefore, I’ll eat anything so it’s not 100% Soylent lifestyle but I enjoy eating regular traditional meals too as long as I’m not the one cooking it. :slight_smile:

Flip side, my wife at 23 had a brain ruptured aneurysm and all her nutrition was through the enteral feeding tube for a very long time. During this time, I felt sad for obvious reasons but also because I wanted to see her enjoy oysters and etc… all the things she previously enjoyed eating. She’s very adventurous when it came to food.

Anyways, the reason that I shared that with you is because it is kind of similar to your significant other but to a degree. You’re healthy and you choose to be on a specific diet. Their upset because there’s not a plate or a bowl in front of you. However, they should not guilt trip or feel sad because there’s nothing to feel sad about. Your healthy and alive. Please do remind your other half that you will be there at that table or couch while they eat to continue to share that intimacy/bonding moments that is created during that time. In regards to your co-workers, just enjoy yourself. They’ll just have to get over it; sorry for being blunt that last sentence. Life’s too short.


#16

I really needed to hear those words of encouragement. You’re right! There is nothing for them to feel sorry about! I am happy and healthy :slight_smile:


#17

I understand that feeling. I am like that with drinks also. Someone will offer me a drink, or coffee, etc, I would politely refuse (two or three times), and they act like you just called them a dodo head.

I am not sure there is a solution.

I imagine they will get used to it over time.

I just act like it is normal, and then others seem to act like it is normal.


#18

My S/O has began to adjust to me drinking meals with him. He said it’s still strange, but not as bad as the first week XD He has become more social with me at meal times while I have the soylent! SO yay progress! My coworkers just don’t care after a couple days! Wooot! I am following your advice and treating it like it’s normal and it has definitely helped with the transition !