I cannot stop myself - pls halp


#1

I keep tearing all the shrink wrap off of my Soylent bottles. Not just the top bit around the cap. All of it.

All of it.

I’m OCD about it now. I can’t allow myself to even open the bottle until every last shred of wrap has been peeled away and discarded. The bottle has to be completely nude before I can continue.

People are looking at me funny now. Co-workers talk about me at the water cooler. Others snicker and point at me from the shadows, me and my liquid I-can’t-believe-it’s-not-food food. I feel like an alien taking part in some hitherto unknown ritual. But I can’t stop.

And it never comes off in one easy pull, oh no. It refuses to do that. Rather, it strips away in small pieces, forcing me to keep picking away at it bit by bit. Not an easy task. It refuses to rip clean. I have to stretch it like an unbreakable elastic until an actual rip starts. Which then comes off in a 4mm wide strip. Lather rinse repeat. Dastardly thing.

I just peeled another one. Took longer to peel than to drink. I think it laughed at me as I unscrewed the cap.

Halp.


New bottles are too hard to open
Inconsistent taste/texture from different lots of 2.0
No more foil seal
No more foil seal
#2

Don’t cut yourself. or poke holes in the bottle.
Grab a knife and slit longways.
Peel away in 3 seconds flat.
OCD problem resolved.


#3

Set the water cooler on fire


#4

On the first bottle I could see myself going down the same path. Luckily somebody mentioned that you just twist the cap and it usually breaks along the perforated line. That is the perforated line right below the cap in the white part of the wrap. Originally I tried peeling from the top and that was a disaster.


#5

Just to be pedantic, I think that behaviour sounds more like OCPD, unless it’s triggered by an intrusive thought.


#6

This is how I open the bottles… Unfortunately a little string of the lower bottle wrapper usually sticks and as I unscrew the top, I end up unraveling a bit of the body wrap… which of course leads to more peeling… Usually I can stop myself with whatever ends up in that first string. One time I think I got 4 or 5 laps around the bottle before it ended.

I don’t think I’ve ever taken it to the bitter extreme of unwrapping the entire bottle though…

So what’s the longest single thread of 2.0 bottle wrap that anyone’s been able to pull in one go?


#7

I think it’s just a matter of practice!


#8

@AndyKing are you available for hire? I’ve got a few boxes of Soylent that needs peeling.

@sylass94 I really like your style.

@Alex1 my doctor told me that I shouldn’t keep sharp objects in my house. IDK why.

I’ve started pre-peeling a box at a time now. I think this is the way to go. I can lock the door, close the drapes, crank up some Slough Feg so nobody can hear my crinkly goings-on, and have at 'er. (I find they peel better with Sky Chariots playing, turned up to 11)


#9

Excuse me, sir!


#10

I always remove before drinking too. Have too anyway for recycling, and I hate the way the sheath spins when drinking. Just feels awkward.


#11

Yeah I don’t care what they say, it just feels better without.


#12

That’s what she said! (Sorry, I had to.)

Pulled a naked one right out of the fridge just now. Was able to pop its top much quicker. (That’s what she said!) ((Sorry, I had to again.))


#13

This morning’s work:

My beer:Soylent ratio is pretty much right where I want it now. :blush:


#14

Just avoid doing this to bar mats at the pub.


#15

Come on, guys! Stop putting ideas in my OCD mind!


#16

You’d never see anything like that in my house.

Because the wrappers would be scattered to all four corners of the house, and a maniacal kitten would be zipping around with a wrapper in its mouth.


#17

Bring a box cutter than and and just run it down the side of the bottle.


#18

Has anyone discovered what parts of the bottle are recyclable?
Lid>wrapper>bottle
If the wrapper is not then I am in the same boat as smeggot. I have always separated my plastics. I now have a box of lids, a box of wrappers and a box of bottles.


#19

Really? Oh no. That’s a lot of work just to recycle some plastic.

P.S. @smeggot The fastest way is to just use scissors. Snip the bottom, then the whole wrapper pulls of instantly.


#20

I think it depends on how recycling is done in your area. I checked the web site and they just say plastic. No mention of the different versions. That leads me to believe I can just recycle the entire bottle, wrap and cap. I know other people have checked and their recycling was more restrictive.