"When used in impure form, such as warfare agents, they are usually yellow-brown in color and have an odor resembling mustard plants, garlic, or horseradish, hence the name." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sulfur_mustard)
Should Soylent be giving me gas on par with chemical warfare gases such as Agent Orange or Mustard Gas? I cannot go outside while drinking soylent without smelling like my anus has become the lake of fire from the Book of Revelation, a fiery volcano excreting noxious odors that are currently unknown to science. Perhaps Mustard Gas is an understatement. The only thing that it can be compared to is out of Norse Mythos when Surtr engulfs the world with fire at the end of Ragnarök, but in this case I am engulfing everyone around me in the most vile of odors.
Other than that, I think Soylent is pretty great and mixes extremely well, particularly in almond milk bases which gives it a creamy taste and feel. I would really like to see how well it tastes in a cashew or brazilnut milk base
It does however not mix particularly well with orange juice which ends up tasting like old marmalade mixed with an old discarded sock previously used for jacking off that was then used as a home for a brood of mice before being shipped off to a landfill and picked out of the trash and used by a mentally handicapped hobo who thought it would add a scrumptious flavor to his dinner but turned out to taste like some combination of horse manure and orange soda.
I think coffee flavor would have probably turned out better, and maybe I'll try that today if I ever stop constantly smelling like the decaying corpse floating housing thousands of flies afloat in raw sewage in the ruins of a chemical factory. How can I even go to a laundromat in this condition?
Also I think it could be an interesting investment of your time to investigate the possibility of doing some kind line of syrups or flavored powders akin to Sodastream. It might be worth it to possibly even produce a Soylent/Rosalab branded blender/mixer that gives it a nice frothiness while flavoring it.
Does the official Soylent team have any advice for me aside from taking beano and handing out gas masks? It is a fairly urgent issue as I currently cannot consume soylent without smelling like a factory farm or a field being "fertilized" with liquidized pig manure.
It smells like a century egg, OK? Ever try one of those? If not, don't.
The only thing I can tell you is that it is is from the batch of Vegan Soylent, I don't see any information for lot numbers on the pouches or in/on the boxes, which is something mission-fuckin-critical that you need to implement ASAP for QA purposes and the ability to do recalls if necessary.
I'm not particularly upset other than having 90 pounds of colon cleansing air freshner that I currently can't use but please try and figure out how I can resolve my issues where stink up entire subway cars because of your product. This is the kind of vile smelling luck that I wouldn't even wish upon my worst enemy.
Maybe if I used it in a dough and made garlic bread it'd smell less foul?
Yours very truly,
Swami Surtr the Eldjötunn,
Burner Downer of Houses,
Champion of Migraines,
Drone Warfare Guru and Alligator Enthusiast