I am looking forward to Soylent when it ships out in August due to the fact that I struggle with a not so typical eating disorder or sorts. Im not sure what to call it.
When I become depressed to the extreme extent, I loose my appetite and do not feel hunger, so I do not eat. The task of doing the mundane like cooking and preparing meals makes it even harder to get myself to eat on occasion.
I am a chef, and LOVE food, but my mood change prevents me from enjoying it.
Anyway, so when I get depressed, instead of over eating like most women, I under eat. And my depression is caused by lack of nutrition and activity, which Im obviously not getting because im in this viscous cycle of "dont eat because you feel awful, and you feel awful because you dont eat, and you cant be active because you have no energy to spare"
I am 5’2 and around 100 pounds, I look fine and healthy for my size, but any drop in weight is noticeable on my small frame. At my best I am 106, I have never been able to get any heavier, At my worst I am 90.
I am also a aspiring petite model, and it is often the misconception that us tiny girls have disorders due to our work, which is completely untrue in my case, but im sure you can imagine that it is hard to convince anyone otherwise.
This eating behavior was cultivated out of an abusive relationship where my partner controlled when I could eat. Mentally I am fine, its been years and I feel great, I never looked back and he got what was coming to him. But physically the behaviors remain. Or maybe they are mental, im not sure, the line is blurred.
I have used exercise and proper diet in the past to control my mood, and i was doing great for weeks until I slipped up by taking a week off from the gym, I slumped, then fell and have had a hard time getting back up to my usual happy self.
I am hoping Soylent will be something that can possibly help me undo years of psychological behaviors I have unwillingly cultivated.
Does anyone else happen to hope for something similar?