Ultra dense pasta sauce


I’ve been working out the numbers so I can replace some of my Soylent with delicious pasta and I found that this Dolmio pasta sauce has 262kJ of energy per 100g which Google tells me is 62,619.5029 calories.
So steer clear if you’re looking to lose weight xD


Hah… there’s no way that calorie count is correct, especially when looking at their macro breakdown, so I’m gonna go out on a limb and presume the kJ number is just flat out wrong (if not the entire nutrition breakdown, for that matter)


…I feel like somewhere along the line, some numbers got a little misinterpreted. Especially as they list

*Percentage daily intakes are based on an average adult diet of 8700kJ.

Perhaps it is not 62,619 “Calories” Google has quoted you, but 62,619 “calories”, so just 62ish… er, “standard” Calories.

(for those not familiar with this somewhat confusing nutritional convention, capital “Calories” really refers to “kilocalories”, and is what most people mean by C/calories. Yes it’s sort of dumb.)


I think they meant Joules and not KiloJoules


Just did some quick googling. I’m pretty sure this is a Calories/calories mix-up. 70 Calories is the google answer for “Calories in a serving of spaghetti sauce.”

Googling “328 kJ to calories” does indeed come up with “78 393.8815 calories”. Converting to kcal by dropping three places gives… 78, which is pretty much average.

Sorry @grantadevine, it looks like this is not your magical FattenSauce :frowning:
But at least now that you know about this you can tell all your friends that you’re really just not getting enough from a 2 million calorie diet! :smiley:


Yeah it was a C/calorie mixup from Google, just thought I’d post it here for a laugh because noone I know irl would be even remotely amused at a 62,000 calorie diet xD


62,000 calories in a day would probably cause Instant diabeetus


On the one hand, the go-to “instant diabeetus” thing is sugar, and one would assume ultra-dense pasta sauce would have calories from fat… on the other hand, I have no idea what the body would do with that much fat, and the answer could very well be “transform all the glucose!”.

…we are men of science, and it is clear what must be done. @grantadevine must be mailed several tubs of ultra-dense pasta lard, so that we may test this hypothesis. For science!


It won’t be easy and I’ll likely die, but I’ll do it.
For Science.


I’m in, but only for SCIENCE.